10 Alternatives to Driving Drunk

It's been awhile since my last blog, but after seeing twitter up in a roar over the #RIDE (Reduce Impaired Driving Everywhere) campaign I had to throw a quick blog together while I get ready for this NYE wedding I have to be at in a half hour. I haven't even showered yet so in my haste please excuse any shoddy writing and grammar (I'll edit later). RIDE was set up by the Toronto Police aiming to educate against drunk driving, and offer alternatives on getting home safely.  A few morons thought it would be a good idea to hijack the hashtag and tip off drunk drivers to the location of the DUI checkpoints.

In honor of the #RIDE campaign I have come up with 10 alternative (but not always practical) ways home so you don't have to drive drunk.

Drunk Driving Alternative 1:

Inspired by the Captain Morgan Commercial, order a pizza delivery and get a ride from the pizza guy. Hell, he knocks on strangers doors all night why not give strangers a ride in his car? He's probably lonely and would appreciate the company. As long as you aren't a complete boob, pleasantly buzzed people can be pretty entertaining and it will make for a great story. Just don't forget to tip BIG!

Drunk Driving Alternative 2:

Take the elevator home! Party close to where you live or where you are staying. There are plenty of hotels like the Hyatt Regency Riverfront downtown Jacksonville that offer special rates on Friday and Saturday nights for people that get a bit to tipsy. You can also check Priceline.com or any of the other travel discount sites for an affordable rate (they usually have last minute booking specials), no matter what you are paying I promise it's A LOT cheaper than a DUI and it won't flush your or anyone else's life down the crapper.

Drunk Driving Alternative 3:

One of my personal favorites, walk home! Some of my best memories come from tipsy walks home. It leads to great and usually hysterical  conversation, it's a great time to get to know that special someone you met at the bar. Scratch that, it gives you way too much time to say something stupid, if you are looking to wake up with an awkward moral hangover TAKE A CAB! If you walk home use common sense and don't be a raging jackass. (Bonus: You will wake up less fat.)

Drunk Driving Alternative 4:

Bar camping. As my buddy once said while sleeping in a booth at a bar. "It's cool, I live right down the street I'll walk home in the morning." If you can get away with that one, you have skills.

Drunk Driving Alternative 5:

Call AAA, on holidays such as New Year's Eve they offer free "Tipsy Tow Service" they will tow your car and give you and potential passengers a lift home. This way you don't have to wake up hungover, and panicky that your car got towed.  Find out more here.

Drunk Driving Alternative 6:

Go out with Tim Tebow, no explanation needed.

Drunk Driving Alternative 7:

Rent a limo or party bus to drive you and your friends around all night.

Drunk Driving Alternative 8:

Party at a casino, they never close so you never have to stop or drive anywhere. (Bonus: It is guaranteed that you will win money, I promise.) Put $10 on black 28.

Drunk Driving Alternative 9:

Invent a teleport. If you are hammered you might end up in the wrong place a few times, but you will eventually make it home and who knows maybe you will end up somewhere awesome, like a bar!

Drunk Driving Alternative 10:

Crap I am out of time and stupid ideas. If there are no other options: Don't drink. It might suck rotten eggs but you might look like the responsible gentleman that your friend's girlfriend's hot friend wants to take home to mom.

Long story short don't be a selfish boob. There is no excuse for driving drunk.

If you have other ideas leave them in the comments below.

Happy New Year and have fun partying!

Cheers!

Jimmy Vinicky

Beer Recess

What happened to Recess?

Growing up I never really enjoyed school. I never liked sitting in a desk listening to  some "old" lady babble about whatever it is she was babbling about,  I definitely understood why the teacher in Charlie Brown sounded the way she did. I am a simple man to please, and the whole time I was in that desk ... all I wanted to do was enjoy a game of Vortex football, play a game of knockout and chase girls. I got to do all those things at RECESS! That is, until it got taken away in 6th grade at the old age of eleven.

I am now 26 years old, trapped in a cubical farm, dreaming of reenacting the scene in Office Space where they beat the crap out of the printer with a baseball bat. The problem is that this is the real world and I don't need jail time for beating up someone else's printer. I have a better solution: I am going to take my recess back! Only now I have another element to add to recess, BEER!

Hence, Beer Recess.

Beer Recess is here to bring the joy of the Vortex football back to the people that have forgotten that they can leave the fluorescent lights, bad coffee and phony personalities behind for a little while. 

I can't tell you exactly what Beer Recess is just yet, but I promise you that if you love good beer and a smile on your face, you will not be disappointed.