17 Reasons Why I Need a Beer

Some days make you really want beer. Today is one of those days. It's the same as any other day, except my brain decided to have Jedi-like focus on the crap that drives me crazy. Bottom line is I haven't blogged in over a year despite countless unfinished drafts, and I figured a good place to start is by blogging a list of the usual things that piss me off and make me crave a Beer Recess with a cold IPA. 

Anyway, here are some of the everyday things that grind my gears.(I never said I was rational; This is just the way my brain works.):

1. That my dog scratches her nails on a chalkboard (that's what her high-pitched whine sounds like) from 12AM - 6AM, and then when my alarm goes off at 6:30AM she climbs onto my pillow and falls asleep before I can turn the water on in the shower.
2. That no matter how prepared I get the night before for the morning or how early I wake up, I will always be 10 minutes late for work. Where does my sock go? Why can't I remember my computer bag before I get down 2 flights of stairs? Why does my computer bag get caught on the door knob on the way out? Don't even get me started on my car keys.
3. That people hit their brakes when merging onto the highway. It's a speed UP lane! The point is to merge into the flow of traffic, not to go 15 under the speed limit so you can carefully place yourself in between two cars, leaving the five cars behind you 300 ft. to get over before the lane ends.
4. That cops would rather go on a witch hunt to catch speeders who are on their way to work than try to prevent speeding in the first place. Hey, cops, when you strategically place your car out-of-sight of motorists you are baiting them to speed. If you put yourself in view, you'd encourage drivers to drive safely in the first place. 
5. People that leave their shopping carts in empty parking spaces! Anyone ever had the wind blow a shopping cart into their parked car? Let me tell you: It SUCKS! 
6. When people walk extremely slow on the side walk or in a grocery store and can't stay in a straight line. I'm a naturally fast walker and I don't care if you walk slow, but stop aimlessly angling to the left so that I can pass you. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!
7. Any time the reason for something is "because." A free-thinking adult should know the reason for why they are doing something. Otherwise, we might as well be robots.
8. Regular definition television. It's like needing and owning glasses but choosing not to wear them. On that same note, when is HD TV just going to be TV? Stop up-charging me for things that are the norm.
9. Justin Bieber. I imagine he's just like this kid who wants a flat screen in his tree house. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGS90HEbP5U
10. Why can I not find Choco Tacos anywhere?
11. Talking on the phone.
12. People who constantly talk about how great they are. If you're truly great, you don't need to say it. Other people will say it for you.
13. Headaches. UGH. Where's that beer?
14. Offended people. "How dare you say 'Merry Christmas?'" 
15. Bud Light. Why even bother?
16. When people don't pull up to the front-most gas pump.
17. Trendy allergies. Why weren't you allergic to gluten last year?

That's enough for now. Time to shotgun, anyone?

What makes you want to have a beer?